Tag Archives: TV

Words Misused by “Journalists,” or Reasons I Don’t Like Pinoy Network News

I’m a frustrated journalist, make no mistake about it. Thus, I can honestly say I type this piece with some envy. I once dreamed about a reporter myself, but not as Clark Kent, but as Peter Parker! But that is material for another post.

I got off on a good foundation as well, not learning through tabloids and thinly disguised editorials on TV. It was back in 3rd year high school Journalism. This was an elective subject, separate from the English we have been having for the past 2 years at the time. In our school, “elective” does not mean optional. Rather, this is that one subject per school grade that the curriculum makes students take to fill in one period. When I was in 3rd year, it was Basic Accounting and when I was in 4th year, it was Speech. The teacher was also special, as she was newly graduated. I do not know if she was idealistic or if it was her lifelong dream to teach, I have lost contact with her after graduating as she must have switched to another school, or she might have just followed other teachers and went abroad. When it was time for the subject, it was not the usual homework, lecture and seatwork plus assignment model. I must be getting old, but I found that novelty appealing. It gave me a new way to see the world, even though I did not continue to be a reporter. I still like the way I had to watch network news and not care about the content, but how the news gets made, done and served…

More Fun in the Philippines

More Fun in the Philippines

which gets me to the point of this article. Usually, people doing the reports are great. Like Atom Araullo or Maki Pulido, they brave real danger to bring you the news that matters. Even better when they can provide unbiased views of a certain issue that should be monitored by the the masses (an overused word by politics), more too often the stakeholders (this is a very overused word, but in corporate, not journalism) follow better than they follow Maya and Sir Chief. It used to be there was only CNN for you to get news 24-hours a day. Now you get ANC, which is still on cable, but you also get NewsTV on VHF and AksyonTV on UHF. We even get an all-news station on FM radio! But then sometimes you get these, shortcuts and booboos, dahil hindi na nakakatulog ang tagapagbalita:

1. Emotional/Emosyonal – No one cries anymore. No one gets angry, or frustrated, or broken down. They all get “emotional,” as if the victim’s mother were just reciting from rote memory and she starts to let loose when she finally finds out the dead child that had been found by the barangay captain was really theirs. (where did this scenario come from?) Come on, be a little more colorful! Lola Rapper Priscilla knows more words describing human feeling than just “emotional.”

By the way, a certain technique used by unimaginative reporters to elicit the emotional response is to ask, “How do you feel towards: your third cousin’s death/child’s rape by her favorite stuffed animal/the pitchfork swinging mob who watched your sex video?”

2. Riding in Tandem – I admit this may well be an invention of the PNP rather than the press, as when I first heard this used this was from a senior police officer (I forgot who) and some newscasters still say, angkas. But nowadays, riding in tandem this and riding in tandem that. The word is so awkward it forces the sound of bad word construction (see the envy here of not becoming a journalist? This is it in action.) uninformed by the rules of grammar and style into my eardrum. In the US, they describe it as riding shotgun, not riding in/of/by shotgun. I previously thought tandem to be the exclusive domain of words describing synchronized swimming. Now it means a modus operandi of petty crime by which two people ride on one motorcycle, with one driving and one shooting. Imagine Carl Johnson of Grand Theft Auto San Andreas described as committing crimes through riding in tandem?

By the way, I have a theory that this term is to describe criminals who commit crimes on motorbikes… while riding a tricycle, quite common as well.

3. Tagalisms – These include words in English that are used as derived “Filipino” or “Spanish” words. Common words are kaso– for legal case; inabandona– for abandoned, left; and a lot of -yon words: promosyon, relasyon, or posisyon. Funny enough, kunsumisyon does not translate to the English word, consummation. What are these for? Are these used as a prop for English speakers wondering what the verb or noun could mean? Are the news editors (not the newscasters, it is more accurate for them to be called newsreaders) too pressed for time for the next deadline to bother reaching for their Vicassan or UP Filipino Dictionary or just *gasp,* lazy?

Sadly, this is not limited to the journalistic profession. I found many Filipino textbooks back in high school and college talking about kontraktuwalisasyon, komunismo, and recipe books calling for krema. Thinking of style, and how Filipino is really used today, it is acceptable to say, “Pinagtalunan (instead of pinagdebatehan) kanina sa Senado (eh, what the hell, give them that) ang usapin ng contractualization (instead of the word pretending to be Tagalog).

Perhaps I can offer a Rule of Thumb. If it sounds good on Eat Bulaga, the Filipinos can understand it, use it. But that is material for another post.

Like this one, this gets discussed in Eat Bulaga by Joey De Leon all the time.

Like this one, this gets discussed in Eat Bulaga by Joey De Leon all the time.

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Way to go Maggi

You confirmed by belief in the power of marketing. After that hoopla on contaminated noodles, you just focused on a key market which needs you expertise, young families. Despite the efforts of Nancy Lumen, Boy Logro and Judy Ann Santos to push for cooking at home/ as a business, Maggi recognizes that there are a lot of people who will benefit from not knowing how to cook Bicol Express but knowing that it can be faked when you “have bisita.” Especially with “kumpare.”

I got the following youtube video from NestlePH’s account. I think they don’t mind me reviewing the ad, it might provide more attention, and I don’t make money from this blog. That, plus my unending love for Nestle Swiss Miss.

That said, I love the ad itself. Starts out like a beer commercial, then it goes inexplicably with invisible double barbershop quartet, and ends in eating, oblivious to the eight hungry men wailing for attention at the back. It seems similar to my experiences eating out in fastfood restaurants near Quiapo.

Storyline goes here: Wife is returning from work/play/modelling when she gets prompt by inconsiderate husband to show off to kumpare. The disembodied voice belonging to a Maggi grunt gives her the power to fake it. She does so, with a Magic Cooking bag and magic granules. She fakes it for an epic win, perhaps.

I have yet to test the product, so I am not sure as to it’s effectiveness. Will it go the way of Pansit Ulam or Sarsa Ulam, two other products designed for the culinary clueless? What I know is that Bicol Express is not paella or lechon de leche. You saute pork, beans, and Pinoy chili peppers in your usual gisa technique, then add the coconut cream/milk. It actually becomes better if you decide to be adventurous and substitute cream for the coconut milk. That’s it.

I also love it when the punchline of the commercial is when the wife sings the “Bicol Express!” name. And one of the choir members looks like Dinky Doo.

Best possible thesis topic: Food safety: Is it safer to eat meals bought from sidewalk cafeterias than to eat instant meals?
Best comment in the youtube page: Who is the husband? He’s guapo. – Mr Laquachero

P.S. Is Swiss Miss made by Nestle? uh, sorry.

Edit: 2:34 AM
Found this companion ad in youtube. Shades of Apple. Galing pala nila magparody ng ad ng iba. hehehehe!


Lambing Season 2: Pinoy acting

Here is a truism culled from watching endless episodes of Filipino movies and TV shows. The hardest role is not a contravida, or an evil twin, or the opposite sex. It is a medical doctor.

In dramas, a doctor will eventually come up to give the good news, bad news in a hospital. This chance goes up when a main character has been hit by a car. The doctor also comes in to tell the characters that someone needs surgery, along with the implication that they haven’t paid yet.

I don’t know about “material” and experience, but don’t directors and scriptwriters know any doctors at all? And by doctors, I don’t mean Belo. If directors and scriptwriters really draw on experience and observations for material, how come there are a lot of cross-dressers, martial artists, and fairies in Filipino TV?


Neckromancer Does Boy Pick-Up

This comes as a dialog:

Mister: Sweetie-pie, mais ka ba?

Misis: Bakit?

Mister: Kasi, sa tinagal-tagal natin, hindi ka nagbabago.

Misis: Ang sweet mo naman. E, pano nga pala naging mais iyon?

Enter Boy Backup!
Boy Backup: Ang mais kasi e ang pagkain na maipasok man sa katawan o mailabas, mais pa rin.

Misis: Mais pala ha?

Mister: Punyeta ka Boy Backup!

***

On an unrelated note, Happy Mothers’ Day!


Wika ng Pamamahayag

Mainit na talakayan ngayon ang paggamit ng “mother tongue” sa paaralan, at hindi laging Filipino o Tagalog ang mother tongue. Alam naman natin na buwan na naman ng wika at ewan ko ba kung bakit ngayon lang nagsusulputan ang mga issue na gaya nito o ngayon lang sila napapansin ng mga segment producer sa TV news. Kesyo sabi na dapat daw mahalin ang sariling wika at dapat gamitin, pero kung titignan, dapat ginagawa nila ang ipinapayo nila.

Marami kasing hindi kanais-nais na violation ang mga network news na iyan sa language natin. Isang halimbawa na lang ang pag-iimbento ng salita na hindi makikita sa dictionary (na walang gumagamit ng salitang talasalitaan). Isang dahilan sa paggamit ng mga ito e pagtitipid sa oras, dahil nga ang TV news e gahol sa oras. Kaya madalas, ang mga salitang ginagamit ay wala sa dictionary (?). Gaya na lang ng salitang kudos. Nauso ang salitang ito dahil kailangan ng mga publisher (tagapaglimbag) ng maiksing salita na kasingkahulugan ng pagbibigay-papuri o paghanga. Malas lang ng mga Pinoy, kasi may salita tayong kutos. Hindi paghanga ang nararamdaman sa taong kinutusan.

***

O sadya bang tumingin na lang kayo sa tabloid para sa inspiration?

from uncyclopedia.wikia.com

Ito kasi ang mga salitang kanilang ginagamit:

1. Arestado – paborito ni Arnold Clavio, may focus sa salitang ‘Tado! Galing sa arrested. Mas maikli ang salitang huli kung ang pinapatungkulan dito e yung mga hinuli ng pulis at bilanggo pero naghihintay pa ng trial. O gusto lang magmula ni Arnold Clavio kasi ginawan siya ng puppet.

2. Sumite – Galing sa submit. Madalas kapag ang balita ay galing sa Senado o alinmang opisina ng gobyerno (office of the government) na may iniimbestigahan (sinusuri). Ayaw siguro nila sa pasa o ipinasa. May konotasyon kasi ng pagpasa ng sisi. Pero ang submit ay may connotation din ng pagsuko at pagpapailalim.

3. Droga – galing sa salitang drug. Hindi lang sa kalye nakakarinig ang mga bata ng salitang kanto. Dahil sa paggamit nito (ng salita, hindi ng gamot, but you never know), nagkaroon ng konotasyon na masama ang droga.

4. Eskapo – Kung gusto nilang gumamit ng salitang kanto, may salita na puga. Iyan, salitang preso talaga iyan. Magandang pelikula din.

5. Mga salitang akala natin ay galing sa Spanish pero hindi pala – kaso (asunto), sesyon (session), plataporma (platform), atbp.

Que barbaridad!

***

Kung gagayahin na rin lang ng network news ang mga tabloid, nasaan na ang sex stories?


Dear Neckromancer: Mga Walang Kwentang Tanong

Dear neckromancer,

Paano po ba magluto ng piniritong manok?

Gail

Dear Gail,

Kumuha ka nang Culinary Arts sa MIHCA o sa TESDA.

neckromancer

***

Dear neckromancer,

Kapag nagtatrabaho po ang mister ko ay naiiwan akong mag-isa sa bahay. AnongĀ  soap opera po ba ang magandang panoorin?

Jelly

Dear Jelly,

Huwag ka nang manood sa TV. Kung hindi iyakan, magic sapatos lang ang mahihita mo doon. Punta ka na lang sa internet, nood ka ng porn.

***

Dear neckromancer,

Lumindol ba talaga kaninang madaling araw?

Gentler Reader

Dear Gentler Reader,

Hindi. Nag-orgasm lang ako. Sorry kung naistorbo kita.

neckromancer


Noontime Show Hosts

– I read somewhere that Rico J. Puno now hosts a noontime show after Willie Revillame left. What were they thinking?

– People I’d like to see host a noontime show:

5. Carlos Celdran – Can he do more than yell at priests?

4. Mike Enriquez – Get him out of primetime news. I like Mike Enriquez, but if he’s going to entertain me, please let it not be at primetime news.

3. Shalala – You know, the guy who used to be Kuya Germs’ sidekick in his super early morning show? The one who now screams for his paycheck in Talentadong Pinoy? That one. Let him scream in front of the audience everyday. And they scream back. For two hours. Five days a week. And let him be a regular in Talentadong Pinoy, screaming.

2. The dog who plays Bantatay – I think he can do anything. Like Blue’s Clues.

1. John Lloyd Cruz – I saw him stand in for Willie during one of those suspensions and wow! He got charisma. Handles the audience well, asks questions nicely but plays well to what the people want. Better get him right after he gets unstuck.