Category Archives: politics

Kunyari Tweet # 5

Sana April Fool’s prank lang yung pagpunta ng warship ng US sa South Korea.

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COMELEC 2013 Party-List Candidates

I’m excited.

It is election season again and there are the usual suspects for lots of ads, irritating jingles, and far-fetched promises. There are new developments, though. There are people decided to stand up to Epals (politicians who shamelessly try to get your attention by getting in every aspect of your waking life). There have also been other people who are noticing party lists. These people criticise some party-lists because they apparently waste resources, engage in corruption and do nothing for constituents. I make no such claim. I only seek to present to you ways on making these party-lists funny. Just look at their names:

1. ABONO – Know what else makes good crop fertilizer aside from good old chemicals? Bull.

2. AAMA – …because it sounds less funny than IINA, or Godforbid, AANAK

3. BUTIL – call me a pervert, but this rhymes with kuntil.

4. UMALAB KA – party-list ng mga pyromaniac

5. AMOR SEAMAN – If you would like to get the support of Filipinos who work in the merchant marine industry, can’t you get a better name than one which points out the legendary promiscuousness?

6. ABANTE KA – Bulgar ako. Sagad siya.

7. BANTAY – a.k.a. THE TRUE MARCOS LOYALIST (FOR GOD, COUNTRY AND PEOPLE) ASSOCIATION OF THE PHILIPPINES, INC. i used to call dogs Bantay…

8. AKAP BATA – party-list ni Michael Jackson, RIP

9. AKO BAHAY – when Ah Se was asked what he would contribute to their newly-created party-list…

10. KAKUSA – this is an organization of people who were wrongfully imprisoned. What is the selection process for this?

Party-List Names Who Really Want to be on Top and Number One:

1. 1-CARE

2. AAMA

3. 1-LAMBAT

4. AANI

5. AN WARAY

6. ANG LADLAD

7. 1-ABILIDAD

8. ABANTE RETIREES – These people who weren’t hired by other tabloids

9. ATING KOOP – aka Adhikaing Itinataguyod ng Kooperatiba

10. ANG PROLIFE

11. ATING GURO – Why didn’t I include AVE? It has Alliance as the first letter of the acronym

12. 1-AAMOVER

13. AMIN – for Anak Mindanao Party-List

14. ABAKADA

15. ABROAD – Action Brotherhood for Young Dreamers, I wish I knew how they dreamed up the name.

16. ANGKLA

17. AGBIAG

18. ATONG PAGLAUM

19. AAMBIS-OWA

20. 1-AALALAY

21. ABANTE KA – This stands for Abante Katutubo

22. 1-BAP – Interesting. This is a coalition of Banat and Ahapo Party-Lists

23. 1 BRO-PGBI – Philippine Guardians Brotherhood

24. A-IPRA

25. ANG KASANGGA

26. ANG MINERO

27. AA-KASOSYO

28. 1 ANG PAMILYA – Estrada, Revilla and Schwarzenegger are not members of this party-list

29. 1ST KABAGIS

30. 1-UTAK

31. 1GANAP/GUARDIANS – So who were the Guardians from earlier?

32. AASENSO

33. A BLESSED

34. AMA – Nope, not a party-list for motherf–, fathers, but it stands for Ang Mata’y Alagaan

35. 1SAGIP

36. 1JAMG

37. AKO BAHAY

38. AKO – aka Ako Ayoko Sa Bawal Na Droga (someone’s being “pushed”)

39. ANG NARS

40. ALIF

41. 1-PABAHAY

42. ABANG LINGKOD

And there are some party lists who just don’t care:

1. ABS – Arts Business and Science Professionals. how are they marginalized?

2. OFW Family Club Inc. – sounds like they have a TV show with a televangelist

3. AMS – Alyansa ng Media at ShowBiz. Really?

4. BH – for Bernadette Herrera

5. PBA – Pwersa n Bayaning Atleta

6. FIRM 24-K – sounds sexy, rich, or is it just me, the perv?

7. ANG LADLAD – from the book by Danton Remoto, they have a solid cause, but this could use some marketing magic.

8. 1-AAMOVER – 1-A ACTION MORAL & VALUES RECOVERY REFORM PHILIPPINES, INC. Ayaw nila malamang sa blog na ito.

9. UMALAB KA – UGNAYAN NG MARALITA LABAN SA KAHIRAPAN. The ultimate marginalized sector, the poor.

10. ABROAD – why would I trust a congressman who wants me to quit the country?

11. LPGMA – LPG Marketers Association. Really?

12. 1st KABAGIS – 1ST KABALIKAT NG BAYAN GINHAWANG SANGKATAUHAN, Universal party-list!

At ang walang pakialam sa kanilang lahat:

PACYAW.

There are a lot of party-lists not mentioned. In fact, there are 123 of them. I just feel tired today.

For the full list, check this link.


Philippine Religions

Ilan ba ang relihiyon sa Pilipinas? Ayon sa phil-job.net, ito ang mga pagpipilian mo kapag gagawa ka ng account bilang jobhunter:

  • Aglipayan
  • Assembly of God
  • Baptist
  • Born Again Christian
  • Buddist
  • Christian
  • Church of Christ
  • Church of God
  • Church of God Thru Christ Jesus sic
  • Church of Latter Day Saint
  • Episcopalian Angelican
  • Espiritism
  • Evangelical
  • Faith Tabernacle
  • Four Square Gospel Church
  • Fourth Watch
  • Hindu
  • Iglesia ng Diyos kay Cristo Jesus
  • Iglesia ni Cristo
  • Iglesia sa Diyos Espiritu Santo
  • Islam
  • Jehovah’s Witnesses
  • Jesus Miracle Crusade
  • Lutheran
  • Methodist
  • Non-Sectoral Charismatic
  • Orthodox
  • Others
  • Pentecostal
  • Philippine Independent Christian Church (PICC/IFI)
  • Presbyterian
  • Protestant
  • Rizalist
  • Roman Catholic
  • Seventh Day Adventist
  • Twelve Tribes of Israel
  • Union Epiritista Cristiana
  • United Church Christian of the Philippines (UCCP) sic
  • Wesleyan Church
  • Word of Hope

I do not believe that one religion is better or worse than another, kaya I won’t make jokes demeaning one or more, pero, wala bang Satanista? Isa pa, saang list nila kinuha ito? Will one prefer to refer to oneself as Protestant, Wesleyan, or Baptist? Wala bang Hare Krishna sa Pilipinas? O hindi tinuturing na teritoryo ng Pilipinas ang mga airport? At ano ang ilalagay ng mga atheist?


Martyrs

The world watched while Muammar Ghaddafi was seen almost lynched by a Lybian mob on TV. The world rejoiced with them; it is natural for them to do so. But I find that this naturalness perverse. If we really want to stop what Ghaddafi stood for, we shouldn’t have killed him. There are fates worse than death.


A few reminders from Congressman Manny Pacquiao

from fro2hero of espiya.net

Here is a tv ad purporting to tell the “true” story of Manny Pacquiao. This video deserves to be preserved for its comedic value. Embalm the creator, too.

– Oo nga pala. Congratulations kay Nonito Donaire. Sana mas maayos ang TV ad mo.


On Carlos Celdran

First, I want to thank him for entertaining me last night on TV. That one was priceless, dressed up in a dark suit reminiscent of Jose Rizal and sneaking up on Cardinal Rosales and holding up a sign with “DAMASO” printed on it.

But, no. That was not bravery. That was just foolishness. As of this writing as far as I know his stunt did very little to push public opinion towards his side (pro-RH bill).

His Claim to Recent Fame

He won’t be (in)famous if he wasn’t arrested. That said, I admired him for his balls when he said he didn’t have any regrets for his actions. But excommunicated? No, a person brave enough (or stoked enough) to do that won’t be afraid of excommunication, not even counting his standard answer that he will join another religious group. There are enough Catholics in politics.

On his supporters making two fan pages on facebook, one calling for his release and one calling for his prolonged stay in jail, I found another funny thing to poke about. Yes, it is better that he stay in jail. Much better if in Fort Santiago, and people would pay to see him there ranting about his views. In that awfully hot suit. The state and the city of Manila will benefit from this. And the group he supports too.

Image from my_sarisari_store.typepad.com

What He Should Have Done

I admit I am a bit of a “performance artist” myself *wink, wink* and as an amateur to a professional I have a bit of advice to him, just like the classic Pinoy miron:

1. What he should have done is not to put the Filipino Catholic Church in a bad light. As a political strategist (a very amateur one, so please don’t monitor me, ISAFP) attacking a very old institution with the motive of undermining its credibility and the people’s trust in it is very risky and invites anarchy. All governments hate anarchy. Besides, in a formal debate that one could be construed as an argumentum ad hominem.

2. What he should have done is not to interrupt Mass. People know Mass is a serious affair, and would be confused if they should laugh at your stunt. Besides, it is a meal and interrupting meals is one unspoken violation of friendship with a Filipino.

3. What he should have done is not to display a placard with “DAMASO” printed on it. And emulating Rizal? He won’t pass as Rizal. He looks very mestizo. He is stocky. He sports a big forehead. Rizal had a big head. He is a tour guide. He should know how ignorant Filipinos are of literary figures.

4. What he should have done is make a video. He could have gone two ways, either post a unique, funny skit on youtube or engineered a homemade zex video. Either way it would have made noise for millions of people. Not just for the people hearing Mass.

Postscript

I thought I saw him somewhere. There are not very many mestizos around. Could he be related to my childhood idol, David “Battle of the Brains”  Celdran? Perhaps in a trippy magazine or a guest in one of RJ Ledesma’s shows.

Pustahan tayo, may kukuhang TV network sa kanya paglaya niya. 🙂


Thoughts for the Day # 24

– I was wondering if the Marcoses watched Philippine news or read the Philippine Daily Inquirer for the past 26 years.

– Who Wants to be a Millionaire should do a Politician Special. Maybe they should choose the losing candidates.

– What happened to Richard Gordon, Nick Perlas and JC De Los Reyes? What happened to Vetellano Acosta?

One Sentence Review: Pilyang Kerubin hasn’t a very good title or ancestor (Matet played the first), but character development is mature and comedy is subtle.