It is election season again and there are the usual suspects for lots of ads, irritating jingles, and far-fetched promises. There are new developments, though. There are people decided to stand up to Epals (politicians who shamelessly try to get your attention by getting in every aspect of your waking life). There have also been other people who are noticing party lists. These people criticise some party-lists because they apparently waste resources, engage in corruption and do nothing for constituents. I make no such claim. I only seek to present to you ways on making these party-lists funny. Just look at their names:
1. ABONO – Know what else makes good crop fertilizer aside from good old chemicals? Bull.
2. AAMA – …because it sounds less funny than IINA, or Godforbid, AANAK
3. BUTIL – call me a pervert, but this rhymes with kuntil.
4. UMALAB KA – party-list ng mga pyromaniac
5. AMOR SEAMAN – If you would like to get the support of Filipinos who work in the merchant marine industry, can’t you get a better name than one which points out the legendary promiscuousness?
6. ABANTE KA – Bulgar ako. Sagad siya.
7. BANTAY – a.k.a. THE TRUE MARCOS LOYALIST (FOR GOD, COUNTRY AND PEOPLE) ASSOCIATION OF THE PHILIPPINES, INC. i used to call dogs Bantay…
8. AKAP BATA – party-list ni Michael Jackson, RIP
9. AKO BAHAY – when Ah Se was asked what he would contribute to their newly-created party-list…
10. KAKUSA – this is an organization of people who were wrongfully imprisoned. What is the selection process for this?
Party-List Names Who Really Want to be on Top and Number One:
5. AN WARAY
6. ANG LADLAD
8. ABANTE RETIREES – These people who weren’t hired by other tabloids
9. ATING KOOP – aka Adhikaing Itinataguyod ng Kooperatiba
10. ANG PROLIFE
11. ATING GURO – Why didn’t I include AVE? It has Alliance as the first letter of the acronym
13. AMIN – for Anak Mindanao Party-List
15. ABROAD – Action Brotherhood for Young Dreamers, I wish I knew how they dreamed up the name.
18. ATONG PAGLAUM
21. ABANTE KA – This stands for Abante Katutubo
22. 1-BAP – Interesting. This is a coalition of Banat and Ahapo Party-Lists
23. 1 BRO-PGBI – Philippine Guardians Brotherhood
25. ANG KASANGGA
26. ANG MINERO
28. 1 ANG PAMILYA – Estrada, Revilla and Schwarzenegger are not members of this party-list
29. 1ST KABAGIS
31. 1GANAP/GUARDIANS – So who were the Guardians from earlier?
33. A BLESSED
34. AMA – Nope, not a party-list for motherf–, fathers, but it stands for Ang Mata’y Alagaan
37. AKO BAHAY
38. AKO – aka Ako Ayoko Sa Bawal Na Droga (someone’s being “pushed”)
39. ANG NARS
42. ABANG LINGKOD
And there are some party lists who just don’t care:
1. ABS – Arts Business and Science Professionals. how are they marginalized?
2. OFW Family Club Inc. – sounds like they have a TV show with a televangelist
3. AMS – Alyansa ng Media at ShowBiz. Really?
4. BH – for Bernadette Herrera
5. PBA – Pwersa n Bayaning Atleta
6. FIRM 24-K – sounds sexy, rich, or is it just me, the perv?
7. ANG LADLAD – from the book by Danton Remoto, they have a solid cause, but this could use some marketing magic.
8. 1-AAMOVER – 1-A ACTION MORAL & VALUES RECOVERY REFORM PHILIPPINES, INC. Ayaw nila malamang sa blog na ito.
9. UMALAB KA – UGNAYAN NG MARALITA LABAN SA KAHIRAPAN. The ultimate marginalized sector, the poor.
10. ABROAD – why would I trust a congressman who wants me to quit the country?
11. LPGMA – LPG Marketers Association. Really?
12. 1st KABAGIS – 1ST KABALIKAT NG BAYAN GINHAWANG SANGKATAUHAN, Universal party-list!
At ang walang pakialam sa kanilang lahat:
There are a lot of party-lists not mentioned. In fact, there are 123 of them. I just feel tired today.
For the full list, check this link.