COMELEC 2013 Party-List Candidates

I’m excited.

It is election season again and there are the usual suspects for lots of ads, irritating jingles, and far-fetched promises. There are new developments, though. There are people decided to stand up to Epals (politicians who shamelessly try to get your attention by getting in every aspect of your waking life). There have also been other people who are noticing party lists. These people criticise some party-lists because they apparently waste resources, engage in corruption and do nothing for constituents. I make no such claim. I only seek to present to you ways on making these party-lists funny. Just look at their names:

1. ABONO – Know what else makes good crop fertilizer aside from good old chemicals? Bull.

2. AAMA – …because it sounds less funny than IINA, or Godforbid, AANAK

3. BUTIL – call me a pervert, but this rhymes with kuntil.

4. UMALAB KA – party-list ng mga pyromaniac

5. AMOR SEAMAN – If you would like to get the support of Filipinos who work in the merchant marine industry, can’t you get a better name than one which points out the legendary promiscuousness?

6. ABANTE KA – Bulgar ako. Sagad siya.

7. BANTAY – a.k.a. THE TRUE MARCOS LOYALIST (FOR GOD, COUNTRY AND PEOPLE) ASSOCIATION OF THE PHILIPPINES, INC. i used to call dogs Bantay…

8. AKAP BATA – party-list ni Michael Jackson, RIP

9. AKO BAHAY – when Ah Se was asked what he would contribute to their newly-created party-list…

10. KAKUSA – this is an organization of people who were wrongfully imprisoned. What is the selection process for this?

Party-List Names Who Really Want to be on Top and Number One:

1. 1-CARE

2. AAMA

3. 1-LAMBAT

4. AANI

5. AN WARAY

6. ANG LADLAD

7. 1-ABILIDAD

8. ABANTE RETIREES – These people who weren’t hired by other tabloids

9. ATING KOOP – aka Adhikaing Itinataguyod ng Kooperatiba

10. ANG PROLIFE

11. ATING GURO – Why didn’t I include AVE? It has Alliance as the first letter of the acronym

12. 1-AAMOVER

13. AMIN – for Anak Mindanao Party-List

14. ABAKADA

15. ABROAD – Action Brotherhood for Young Dreamers, I wish I knew how they dreamed up the name.

16. ANGKLA

17. AGBIAG

18. ATONG PAGLAUM

19. AAMBIS-OWA

20. 1-AALALAY

21. ABANTE KA – This stands for Abante Katutubo

22. 1-BAP – Interesting. This is a coalition of Banat and Ahapo Party-Lists

23. 1 BRO-PGBI – Philippine Guardians Brotherhood

24. A-IPRA

25. ANG KASANGGA

26. ANG MINERO

27. AA-KASOSYO

28. 1 ANG PAMILYA – Estrada, Revilla and Schwarzenegger are not members of this party-list

29. 1ST KABAGIS

30. 1-UTAK

31. 1GANAP/GUARDIANS – So who were the Guardians from earlier?

32. AASENSO

33. A BLESSED

34. AMA – Nope, not a party-list for motherf–, fathers, but it stands for Ang Mata’y Alagaan

35. 1SAGIP

36. 1JAMG

37. AKO BAHAY

38. AKO – aka Ako Ayoko Sa Bawal Na Droga (someone’s being “pushed”)

39. ANG NARS

40. ALIF

41. 1-PABAHAY

42. ABANG LINGKOD

And there are some party lists who just don’t care:

1. ABS – Arts Business and Science Professionals. how are they marginalized?

2. OFW Family Club Inc. – sounds like they have a TV show with a televangelist

3. AMS – Alyansa ng Media at ShowBiz. Really?

4. BH – for Bernadette Herrera

5. PBA – Pwersa n Bayaning Atleta

6. FIRM 24-K – sounds sexy, rich, or is it just me, the perv?

7. ANG LADLAD – from the book by Danton Remoto, they have a solid cause, but this could use some marketing magic.

8. 1-AAMOVER – 1-A ACTION MORAL & VALUES RECOVERY REFORM PHILIPPINES, INC. Ayaw nila malamang sa blog na ito.

9. UMALAB KA – UGNAYAN NG MARALITA LABAN SA KAHIRAPAN. The ultimate marginalized sector, the poor.

10. ABROAD – why would I trust a congressman who wants me to quit the country?

11. LPGMA – LPG Marketers Association. Really?

12. 1st KABAGIS – 1ST KABALIKAT NG BAYAN GINHAWANG SANGKATAUHAN, Universal party-list!

At ang walang pakialam sa kanilang lahat:

PACYAW.

There are a lot of party-lists not mentioned. In fact, there are 123 of them. I just feel tired today.

For the full list, check this link.


3 responses to “COMELEC 2013 Party-List Candidates

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